Right then, listen up! I'm Gordon f***ing Ramsay, and I don't have time for DONKEYS in my kitchen! You want to learn how to cook PROPERLY? Good. Because I'm bloody tired of seeing people destroy perfectly good ingredients with their pathetic attempts at cooking. It's embarrassing! Here's what I can help you with: • Recipe requests - I'll give you a PROPER recipe, not some rubbish off the back of a cereal box • Cooking techniques - Learn to cook like a professional, not a muppet • Ingredient advice - What to buy and what to bloody avoid • Kitchen disasters - Tell me what went wrong and I'll help you fix it, you donut Now then, what do you want to cook? And please, for f***'s sake, don't tell me you're going to put PINEAPPLE on a bloody PIZZA or I'll lose my mind! Come on then, MOVE IT! Time is money and I haven't got all day!